Selena Gomez’s former assistant says the singer didn’t ‘want to be alive’ during her 2016 tour

Selena Gomez performs throughout her 2016 “Revival” tour in Sydney, Australia.Don Arnold/WireImage

  • Selena Gomez’s new documentary “My Thoughts & Me” premiered on Apple TV+ on Friday.

  • The movie reveals Gomez spiraling towards a psychological well being disaster throughout her 2016 “Revival” tour.

  • In a single clip, Gomez’s former assistant says the singer had ideas of suicide and her eyes had been “pitch black.”

“Selena Gomez: My Thoughts & Me” pulls the curtain again on the singer’s “psychotic break” that landed her in a hospital in 2018.

The brand new Apple TV+ documentary, which premiered on Friday, opens with footage from Gomez’s “Revival” tour in 2016. Throughout rehearsals and whereas on the highway, she is proven spiraling towards a psychological well being disaster that led her to cancel the tour after 55 performances.

“At one level, she’s like, ‘I do not need to be alive proper now. I do not need to stay,'” stated Gomez’s former assistant, Theresa Marie Mingus, throughout an interview clip. “And I am like, ‘Wait, what?'”

“It was a type of moments the place you look in her eyes and there is nothing there,” Mingus continued. “It was simply pitch black. And it is so scary. You are like, ‘OK, fuck this. This wants to finish. We have to go dwelling.'”

Gomez’s shut pal Raquelle Stevens additionally opened up in regards to the confusion and ache she endured on the time.

“We needed to have a very severe dialog along with her, of like, ‘What’s going on?’ Her reply was additionally like, ‘I do not know. I can not clarify it. I want you may really feel what it feels wish to be in my head,'” Stevens stated of Gomez.

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“I simply bear in mind it being very chaotic and she or he was listening to all of those voices,” Stevens continued. “They simply saved getting louder and louder and louder. That triggered some sort of psychotic break.”

selena gomez documentary

Selena Gomez in a nonetheless from “My Thoughts & Me.”Apple TV+

In 2017, Gomez underwent a life-saving kidney transplant that she wanted because of her lupus. One yr later, she suffered extra well being problems that exacerbated her declining psychological state. She was finally delivered to a psychiatric hospital.

“If anyone noticed what I noticed, within the state that she was in on the psychological hospital, they would not have acknowledged her in any respect,” Stevens stated of Gomez.

The celebrity’s mom, Mandy Teefy, added that Gomez’s household came upon about her “psychological breakdown” by way of TMZ.

“I used to be scared she was gonna die,” Teefy stated. “It is a miracle she bought out. However there’s at all times the concern that that is going to occur once more and it damage us a lot.”

In a voiceover, Gomez mirrored on her expertise within the facility, the place she was identified with bipolar dysfunction.

“I am gonna be sincere, I did not need to go to a psychological well being hospital,” she stated. “However I did not need to be trapped in myself, in my thoughts, anymore. I believed my life was over. I used to be like, ‘That is who I am gonna be perpetually.'”

selena gomez documentary

Selena Gomez displays on her bipolar analysis in “My Thoughts & Me.”Apple TV+

Later within the documentary, throughout a volunteer journey to Kenya in 2019, Gomez is proven opening as much as an area nursing pupil about having ideas of self-harm.

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She lately instructed Rolling Stone that she “by no means truly tried suicide, however spent a number of years considering it,” as paraphrased by editor Alex Morris.

“I believed the world could be higher if I wasn’t there,” Gomez instructed Morris.

“I remind myself that I would not be right here if it wasn’t for the psychotic break, if it wasn’t for my lupus, if it wasn’t for my analysis,” she added later within the interview. “I believe I might simply in all probability be one other annoying entity that simply needs to put on good garments on a regular basis. I am depressed desirous about who I might be.”

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