“Hell’s Kitchen”: If it depended on Ljubomir, João had been expelled 30 times


“Hell’s Kitchen”: If it depended on Ljubomir, João had been expelled 30 times

The humorist and chronicler Miguel Lambertini analyzes the latest episode of the SIC program.

João had immunity and that saved him.

I don’t know what was most painful to see in the episode on Sunday, May 2nd: a man with a stubbly beard who stands in front of the wall like a badly behaved child, or Princess Leia da Rute’s hairstyle. João is like the Hollywood actors who, when they die, say, “But wait a minute, was he still alive? I was almost certain that I had skated a few years ago. “

The truth is that João is holding on – God knows how – and “Hell’s Kitchen”, which will be broadcast on SIC on Sunday evening, is becoming more and more like the “Matrix” due to the way João managed to escape the bullets looks like. Nobody got kicked out this week, but it wasn’t the chef’s unwillingness. If it depended on Ljubomir, João had been expelled about 30 times during the episode, but the initial challenge required him to be granted immunity, which was better than leaving the Euromillions.

Participants were tested on their knowledge of Portuguese gastronomy, with the teams represented by João and Rafaela. At the end of the test, we learned that the competitors even know some recipes but are unable to identify their origin. It often happens to me on the street because I’m very distracted and then people greet me, say my name and I have no idea where I know them. Then I stick with it mentally and play “Who’s Who” to find out when and on what occasion I was last in the mill with this octopus. But now I’ve started taking Centrum and that can improve. I’m glad when I remember people’s names, because “ooooolhó dude” works once or twice, but the third time when people start to suspect.

For the next challenge, the competitors had to choose a typical recipe from a region of the country. João is from Alentejo and decided to cook a couple of migas. There was only one small detail: João had no idea how to cook bread and opted for breadcrumbs. A person from Alentejo who makes breadcrumbs with breadcrumbs is like a portuense that Francesinha makes with whipped cream. It may be original, but it’s still stupid. “You shame the whole country. So now take the whore out of your coat and go home immediately! “, Ljubomir shouted, seconds later, to do a” nhecos “… At least João stays because he has immunity.

Somebody should have called the UN blue helmets because that was the start of the massacre for João, which was to last until the end of the program. When they felt Chef Ljubomir’s approval of Hull in the Alentejo, the rest of the team came together in a pack to create the sheet for João, who was the leader of the week.

While the situation is in full swing, the chef orders them to band together to make decisions and resolve the disputes before someone shows up with the cleaver behind them. The team gathers in the pantry and everyone, one by one, tries to pull a piece of meat out of João. When he hears the chavascal of the remaining wolves, the alpha male appears with a stick and sends them all away with a warning: “Stop that! If there is a problem, use this shit to solve it! They look like first class kids, man! “Of course, because resolving conflicts on the basis of blows is an attitude of great maturity.

In the middle of “Danças com Lobos”, however, the doors open and customers arrive at “Hell’s Kitchen” for another night. “My wife is coming today, I won her for myself in a kitchen, so don’t give me everything to lose if I don’t open my mouth to anyone.” Ljubomir really wanted to wet the fruit, but unfortunately, as we all know by heart, there is only drool, tata and brulée for dessert on the menu. “He’s tough,” comments Francis Obikwelu after seeing Ljubomir hit a plate that flew through the air in a shower of fat and flakes. Because? Because they were badly fried, but mostly because they were made by João.

At this point, there was nothing the competitor could do to change the anger Ljubomir was feeling. And when the chief asked him for a plate of rice and João handed him a saucepan for the third time, it was the last straw. “Close the kitchen!” Ljubomir calls out to the chef. And then he shoots at João: “You go to the corner of the room, look at the wall and don’t look back! If you don’t want to, take off your coat and go home. “If it had been me at that moment, I would have taken off my coat and sent them all to a place I know here. I just can’t remember which one, because I haven’t taken Centrum today.