“Boats with love” should mean “boats with people who don’t know where to spend their money”.

“Boats with love” should mean “boats with people who don’t know where to spend their money”.

The humorist and chronicler Miguel Lambertini analyzes the reality show by SIC Caras.

The forrobodó is guaranteed.

Boats with Love, which airs on SIC Caras, is one of those reality shows that you can watch without feeling guilty. It’s rubbish television, but at the same time it’s not, since all the action takes place in a luxury boat where only a bottle of champagne costs more than all the furniture in Big Brothers house.

“Unter Deck” (below deck) is the original title, which does more justice to the purpose of the program: to follow the daily work of a crew on board a dream yacht. Usually, when you join a group of young adults in an enclosed space for a while, there are always some to get involved.

If we lock them in cabins for two in the hold of a boat, it is guaranteed that Forrobodó exists. Boats with Love does not turn out to be a completely fancy name, although if it were I would have called the program “Boats with people who don’t know where to spend their money”, they rented a yacht to meet up with friends and Driving friends / or lovers of a paradise destination while they eat and drink like there is no tomorrow and still take the opportunity to launder some money. “

For those who, like me, were most likely to have been on a yacht to make the crossing on the ferry that connects Setúbal to Tróia, this program turns out to be like one of those BBC documentaries Wildlife because it lets us know like the lazy rich people live in their natural habitat. Before the start of the charter, the captain meets with the head chef and the head maid to introduce the next customers and their list of requirements, which can range from restrictions or meal preferences to animation topics on board. The seabed is the limit and usually the customers are very thorough so the service must be on a par with a five star floating hotel.

Maximum responsibility rests with the captain – or the captain in the Mediterranean version of the program – who commands his team with the elegance of Captain Iglo. In this case, the golden fish is replaced with vodka cocktails and scallops in a bed of truffle puree. Customers, on the other hand, have exactly the same excited attitude as the kids in Iglo ads, especially those who don’t pay and are there for their rich friend. It is they who say the phrase “oh my god” every time a dish arrives at the dinner table – even if it’s a bowl of fruit – and who believe that they can convince one of the crew members to join them in the Hot tub to go. Yes, because there’s nothing quite like a crisp swimwear with so much hair on your chest that it looks like he’s gone to the sweater hot tub.

If it is certain that no participation between crew members and customers is possible, this does not apply to colleagues among each other. And here Boats with Love is a reality show, just like the others. There’s romance, drama, jealousy, gossip, and some aft docking. Basically all the ingredients that we are used to and that make these formats a success for the global audience. In almost every season of the year, the chef engages with the maid, who in turn is hated by one of the maids, who in turn likes one of the seafarers who, in turn, was busy with the maid in a previous season.

When the charter is over, the entire crew wears their gala uniform and forms at the exit to say goodbye to the customers. At that moment the captain receives an envelope with banknotes from the main customer. This is the tip for the services provided, which is usually around $ 11,000 but has already hit $ 30,000 in one episode. $ 30,000 tip! Thirty thousand. I was once forced by my wife to tip 10 euros in a restaurant and I squirmed for the next four hours. Being poor sucks.

It must be great to be able to leave a tip like this to buy an Audi A3, and there are still a few changes to make to make the ferry crossing to Tróia. There’s no hot tub, of course, but I don’t look good in my swimming trunks either.

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